I still remember few of us being summoned by our head-master( when we were at Primary school we used to call our principal -head-master or head teacher) to his quarter and asking whether my cousin brother named Kezang Wangpo was in relationship with a girl called Rinchen Dema who was our school captain. In response we had stayed in total silence not knowing what our principal was trying to talk about because at that time we were too young to construe what love or relationship is. Upon seeing us like a dumb he explained in dzongkha and we responded that we don't know anything about their relationship. Then he let us to leave the place. I wondered how people fall in love with one another?? After all, all are human beings and we should love all equally. This question has always remained in my mind until I found answer to this question by myself. Yes! love really exists. Our love for all and our love for our loved ones is entirely different. When I say that I have found answer by myself, you guys may think that I might have done research on it. But no...I didn't do any research or wandered around the globe in search of answer. I came to know from my own life experience. I will be glad if all my friends could share little bit of your love stories, be it successful or , ,unsuccessful, it doesn't matter at all. All I want is to go through your stories. But for now, let me share my love story. You would have already grasped the gist of my story by the title itself. Though my story is about unsuccessful love but let me make it successful in interpretation. Here it begins....
Without beating around the bush, let me straight away jump to my story. It was my first journey to the destination of love when I was in 9th grade. Frankly speaking, I didn't have any intention or desire to get into the relationship with anyone. I just happened to be in relationship out of joke as it's rightly said that terrible joke has its terrible end. I didn't have any feelings for her as we were not lovers by fate. Sometimes I would forget myself whether I was really in relationship with that girl or not. I even didn't bother if she loved me or not. We didn't go for a date even for a once also. Sorry I tend to forget to mention one thing. One evening we had had a movie show and that time my friend had arranged for our together-sitting. I could not deny my friend's plan so I had stayed beside her but didn't exchange a single word with her. But then I would say that it was my first date with my first love. You know guys...how rude had I been to her??? It was one evening before the start of our annual exam that I received a wishing card from her. Without even going through it properly I just kept aside and didn't reply also. That was one of the most regretful thing in my life. I still feel guilty when I remember it sometimes. From then on our relation remained in suspense. The year has come to an end and we went to our home. We didn't have contact at all during the break.
First part is over. Now let me begin with the second part. It was probably at the mid term of the year of 2010 that my second love story made its way into my life. I would say that it was a revenge from the lord above for disrespecting my first love. Because my second love was quite tough and gave me a bitter experience. It would seem quite funny to you all to know that my second girl friend was from the same class of my first girl friend.It had happened same like with my first love but the feelings were different from my first love. My second girl and I had been in the same class for two years in class 7 and 8 but I didn't have any feelings for her that time. So, sometimes I feel funny that why it was only in class 10 that I had developed feelings for her and why not in previous years.
As my friends kept on teasing her, I gradually developed a strong feelings for her to the extent of my heart -ache. I had fallen in deep love with her. I would not bother that I have to appear board exam. All I would do was writing about her and looking at her photos. I would keep her photo under my pillow and sleep making a wish to see her in the dream. Since she was not good in studies, I would prepare notes and send to her. I would always think to make her study hard and get through the board exam but all my efforts went in vain. She could not climb the next level of education. When I brood over it, I had been quite stupid to have wasted my time and effort for that girl because besides my great love and care for her, what she gave me in return was a hard blow to my heart- a great betrayal, a bitter taste to my life. Making her another boy friend to call me on phone was her great betrayal and that has almost frozen my heart and made me shed an ocean of tears. I could not study for my exams. I did my exams unprepared with unstable mind and painful heart. But thank God! I had qualified for the higher education while she could not. And I thought that she was punished by the god for betraying me as I was punished for disrespecting my first love. You see the circle of karma. It is amazing..right?? My second love came to a halt with tearful eyes and painful heart.
Part III
Since my heart was wounded badly by my second love, it took time to heal to the normal state.I was scared of exacerbating my already wounded heart if I fall in love with another girl. So I didn't make any girl friend when I was in class 11 and 12. But it doesn't mean that I didn't love any of the girls. Yeah..I loved two girls of my batch but didn't express my sensation because I felt pity to my broken heart. I just wanted to give rest to my heart and mind. And one thing was that I wanted to feel the difference between single life and couple-life and what I found was that being single was much better than having partner. Even after knowing the advantages of being single and also having undergone betrayal for several times, my lust for love has not dwindled a bit. Thinking that two year- break was enough for my heart I thought of setting off my journey to third love. After my class 12 examination, I came to Thimphu to see my result.
One night I received a message from a new number and I wondered who it could be. With much eagerness to know who was that person, I replied asking her to induct briefly about her. Then she replied and I came to know that she is relative of one of my friends. Then I called her and talked for sometime and also made appointment to meet one day. Since we were strangers, my face turned reddish as if I have drank a cup of alcohol when we met for the first time. We walked for quite a long distances sharing about our school life. She seemed to be friendly and loving. That was her first impression on me.From that day onward we exchanged many text messages and sometimes made call also. let me not share everything we did. To be direct, I fell in love with her within a short span of time after our meet. So we broke the boundary of our friendship and got into relationship. She was my first date, my first hug but not my first kiss. I didn't kiss anyone till now except those small kids of my sisters and brothers. I loved her truly and deeply as I had loved my second girl friend. But she too was caught up by the disease of my second love because at last she too betrayed me in a way I was betrayed by my second love. Our relationship lasted for about 3 months only.
Part IV
As our locals say" The disease we get from alcohol can be cured by alcohol", I also searched for another girl to cure my love sick. It would sound funny because my fourth love was woman unknown. I just saw her in the face book but not in reality. I don't know how she is in reality but upon seeing her pictures made me fall in love with that unknown girl. Before I proposed her, I had chatted a lot with her. One night I asked for her mobile number and she did. With great excitement I called her but could not say that I love her. But from the next day I told her that I love her but she kept on making fun of my word. As I persisted on saying, she took my words at last and we got into relationship. We used to chat everyday and even make call no matter how much it costs us as I am in India and she in Bhutan.
Our relationship has become quite open to all of my families and her families. Though we were unknown,I loved her in deep. I thought my love with her is going to be a successful one because our relationship lasted longer than my past relationships. Whenever misunderstanding occurred,i would cry like a small kid and beg for her forgiveness even though I wasn't at fault.I loved her with all my heart. Despite my true love for her, our love didn't reach a stage of success. What remained back of every love was an indelible memories which I do not like to remember at all. Love has been always unsuccessful to me.
Some of my friends may wish to know my four girl friends by their names. I have deliberately not mentioned their names because I thought of mentioning all of them together at the last.
My first love was Leki Dema. I still feel sorry for her.
Phurpa Tshomo happened to be my second love. I am thankful for her,, for she made me know the real taste of love.
My third love was Choki Zangmo. I am thankful for her for being my first date.
And my last love was Dorji Choden..I am grateful for her for being my unknown gal friend. I wish to see her once before my demise.
